Setting goals the S.M.A.R.T. way…

S – Specific – very specific, so specific that anyone could read your goal and know exactly what you want!  Answer the following questions when setting goals…Who’s involved, What do I want?, Where will this happen?  When will it happen?  Why do I want this?  What else…what do I need to learn or do to achieve this?

M – Measurable – There must be steps involved…ask how questions…How will I know I’ve reached my goal?  How many steps?

A – Attainable – What do you need to reach this goal?  You must be able to learn the new skills necessary to obtain your goals.

R – Realistic – The goal must stretch you but also must be realistic.  Deciding you want to become president at age 50 with no previous political experience is unrealistic. The goal needs to be within your reach.

T – Time Frame – You must set a time frame on your goals.  Wanting to finish a law degree with no time frame requires no motivation.  List the steps necessary for the goal and then assign a time frame for each step and the overall goal.

You have to decide what YOU want and your goals will help you get there.

Your goals have to be for you; not what you think you should do but what you want to do.

Your goals have to be very clear.  A goal is not, “I want to be rich”, it is, “I want to have $10,000 in the bank and all debt paid off.”

Your goals need to involve some action on your part.  Your goals are dependant on you…not your friends, family, the government, etc.  Your goals need to involve some work!

Remember, the last part of satisfaction is…..ACTION!!!

My friend, Jen McDonough has taken action.  Check out her new book…”Living Beyond Rich“…an awesome read full of great advice.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals & Living Beyond Rich is a post from: The Lisa Effect

So, it is almost that time to start making resolutions…otherwise knows as goals!  Let’s start out with the definition of Goal…

A goal is – the result or achievement toward which effort is directed, aim.

Basically, it means what you are aiming for, where you want to go.

The study of goal setting is fairly new…around the early 1800’s but actually setting goals is not new at all.

We all start out the day with a few goals…grocery store, work, maybe even just not yelling at the kids!  We may not say, “My goal today is to not yell at the kids/spouse/dog/boss, etc.” but we do have specific things we would like to achieve every day.

Every participant in a war has a goal…to win and all their decisions are based on reaching that goal.

Roads, buildings, tourist attractions are all built with a goal in mind.  Even the grocery store is laid out with a certain goal in mind.

Hunting, exploring, farming…all have been done since the beginning of time and all have goals with specific steps to reach the goals.  The hunter wants to kill, the explorer wants to discover and the farmer wants to grow.  They all need specific tools and things need to be done a certain way to achieve the results they want.

In our day to day lives, we usually have a daily “to-do” list which is basically our goals for the day.

In the 1900’s Napolean Hill studied goals and business, his research is the foundation for many books, two of the most popular are, “The Laws of Success” and “Think and Grow Rich”.

In the 1960’s Dr. Edwin A. Locke started a 30 year study into goal setting.  He published an article in 1968 that stressed the importance of clear goal setting and coined some of the popular phrases used today.

Dr. Locke’s conclusions were:

• Specific goals are motivating, vague goals are not
• Challenging goals are motivating, easy goals are not
• Specific + challenging goals are motivating,  vague and easy goals are not
• Positive feedback, during and after taking action, inspires people to achieve more
• A specific goal provides a huge source of motivation to actually reach the goal
• Having goals leads to an overall improvement in individual performance

Years later, Dr. Gary Latham took another look at goal setting and confirmed Dr. Locke’s conclusions.

Most of the early research about goals had to do with employees at work.  Now goal setting research is taking a broader view looking at how they affect all aspects of our lives.

“Great, some people did some research, and goals are good, whoopee, how does this affect me and why should I do it?”, you may be asking yourself.

I’ll give you THE reason you should set goals.

Have you ever wondered, “Is this all there is?”, or “Is this what life’s about?”?  Not that life is bad but did you think there would be more…maybe more freedom, less financial worries, more fun, less surviving and more thriving?

If so, and be honest with yourself…that is THE reason to set goals.  To reduce stress, have more freedom and thrive more or whatever it is you are looking for…big or small…you must have a clear vision of your life…what you want and don’t want.  Doing the same thing you have been doing will not change your life.

Setting a new path, one with purpose and hope…THAT will change your life!  Setting goals, working towards them, reaching, celebrating and then setting more…that is what will make a difference!

Do you want your life to be the same as it is now 10 years from now?

Yes          No

Will just “thinking” about things actually change your life?

Yes          No

It doesn’t matter if you know exactly what you want or have no clue…as long as you know you want something different, something more…goal setting will take you there!

What, you are worried you can’t do it?

Of course you can do it!  Did you know that 90% of people don’t set goals.  90%!  If everyone else is broke, living paycheck to paycheck, in jobs they don’t love, in relationships that could be better (with friends, family, children, etc.), in less than stellar health, overweight, don’t have time for the hobbies or volunteer work they love to do and they aren’t setting goals….what does that tell you?

Set goals and be different!!

Next week…how to set goals!

New Year’s Resolutions…yep, right around the corner is a post from: The Lisa Effect

I can’t believe it’s already Thanksgiving week!

Over the past several weeks we have been discussing worry, self-talk and imagination and how they affect our ability to achieve our goals.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to spend a few minutes talking about…well, being Thankful.

Have you ever noticed the happiest people are the most thankful?

Or, to say it another way…look at the unhappiest people you know…are they grateful people?

The happy people I know are grateful for the small things. Not that they don’t have troubles…they are just thankful the troubles aren’t worse and/or they are thankful for all the good things in their life.

The people I know that are unhappy can not find anything in their life that is good…they are treated unfairly, “everyone” does them wrong, everything that is wrong with their life is someone else’s fault.

As you think on the people you know…do you find this to be true, are happy people grateful?

Have you ever heard the saying, “A negative person can make a positive person negative but a positive person can’t make a negative person positive.”

What a tongue twister!

I heard that when I was in my 20′s and just couldn’t believe it was true…but….after another 20 years…I think it may be.

What do you think?  Is that a true statement?

So how do we keep the negative we encounter from bringing us down?  Oh, it would be great if we could avoid all negativity but, we can’t.

I think being grateful increases our chances of reaching our goals.  Grateful/happy people will see an obstacle and move around it…unhappy/ungrateful people will see an obstacle and use it as an excuse to be more unhappy and ungrateful.

Now, don’t get me wrong…we all have those moments when we are unhappy, mad, angry and overwhelmed but we usually bounce right back…some people never bounce back!

So, what are your tips for staying grateful?

For me….

I like to write down five things I’m thankful for every day.  Now, at first when I did this I would put my family or friends down every day.  Now, I don’t do that…once it goes on the thankful list…it isn’t repeated.

Some days I struggle, other days I may have 10 things.  My thankful list helps me look to the future with a since of optimism and awe rather than than worry and dread.

What are some things you are thankful for?  What are your tips for staying grateful?  Do the unhappy people you know tend to be ungrateful?

Thanks for sharing!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Have a Grateful Thanksgiving! is a post from: The Lisa Effect

Did you know that what you are thinking can affect your actual strength?

It’s true.

Saying negative things to yourself actually makes you weaker.  Words have great impact but the impact can go be positive or negative.  

Many times we talk ourselves into or out of doing certain things.  Just like in the NYC audio, our bodies react as if what we are thinking is happening at the moment.

Telling ourselves we can’t do something sends a message to our bodies.

Try this experiement….

Hold your arm straight out in front of you and have someone try to push it up towards the sky.  How far can they push it?

Put your arm down, in a relaxed position.

Next….say to yourself….”I am a horrible friend”, say it over and over and over with gusto and sadness in your voice.

Put your arm out in front of you again, have the same person push it towards the sky.  Were they able to get your arm higher?  Did they seem stronger?  Did you seem weaker?

Now, put your arm back in a relaxed position again.

Say to yourself, “I am awesome!!”, say it over and over, scream it, pound your chest, think of two things you have done that you are proud of and keep saying it.

Put your arm out in front of you again, have the same person push your arm towards the sky.  Did you regain some strength?  Did they appear weaker?

What other people say to you makes a difference but what we say to ourselves is more important!

Be good to yourself, compliment yourself and take pride in what you have done!  Celebrate your strengths and stop beating yourself up because you aren’t __________________ (fill in the blank with whatever word you use often…organized, good at math, cooking, or whatever).

We are not all good at the same thing…thank goodness.

You are awesome!  Other people want to be you!

Now, some practical steps to overcoming negative self-talk.

Write down the 5 most common negative things you say to yourself:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Now, write down where this thought comes from.  Why does this tape play over and over in your head?  Why do you get discouraged or think you can’t do something?

Did you teacher tell you you were going to be an old maid?  Were you compared to a sibling?  Did someone make fun of you for _______________?

There can be many origins of negative self talk.  Take a few minutes and write down the first thing that comes to your mind for each of the five. Where did this thought originate?

You are made in God’s image -So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;  male and female he created them. – Genesis 1:27

Everyone has those negative tapes running in their heads but we must replace those tapes with positive self-talk in order to make our goals a reality.

The past is the past and negative self-talk deserves no more of your time.

Words have a great impact, the words we say to others and the words we say to ourselves.

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past” - Thomas Jefferson

Write down 5 positive things you can say to yourself to replace the negative ones. I know, it will be hard but it is absolutely necessary!

You, yes, you, were created in God’s image….replace those negative thoughts with God inspired thoughts!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Every time you have a negative thought about yourself…replace it with one of the above.  It will be hard but it will get easier over time!

Remember the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.  -Reinhold Niebuhr

How you talk to yourself is something you can change.  How you talk to yourself will help determine your actions, your actions will determine your life.

You, yes you, have control!

Be strong physically and mentally and above all…be nice to yourself!

I would love to hear if you tried the exercises listed.  Please email me at lisa@thelisaeffect.com or comment below.

Be nice….to Yourself! is a post from: The Lisa Effect

Come on…be honest…have you ever worried about something?

Worry is a HUGE downer. It sucks the energy and hope right out of you and sometimes effects those around you, well, maybe most of the time!

When it comes to worry, studies have shown the following statistics:

40% never happens – just not going to happen, we are wasting our time.

30% of what we worry about has already happened.  It is done, over…we cannot change the past, only learn from it.  Forgive yourself for your past and forgive others.

12% are needless worries, such as what someone else thinks of us, and we can’t really control that!

10% are petty worries like…what to wear, what to fix for dinner, etc.

8% of what we worry about actually happens. Of this…

4% of our worries are beyond our control, we cannot do anything about them. We cannot change a health diagnosis, a natural disaster, someone else’s actions, etc.

That leaves us with 4% that we actually have some, if not all, control over! Just 4%!  I think this 4%, is basically, the consequences of our actions or inactions.

“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work” – Robert Frost

The bottom line is that most things we worry about are not going to happen.

When you are concerned about something….think it through…..is it in the past?  If so, it is done, move on.

Are you worrying about what other people think?  If so, WHY? They are worried about what you think of them!

Worried about dinner?  Plan a menu.

Worried about your health, make a doctor’s appointment.

Worried you hurt someone’s feelings?  Send them a card.

Live in a place where certain natural disasters are common….make a list of things you need, have an evacuation plan, have emergency cash and you are more prepared than you were (we prepared for hurricane Sandy this weekend).

The bottom line is…learn to recognize a legitimate worry and then take action.  Will this take practice, yes!  Will it make a world of difference once you have it down?  YES!

“I am an old man and I have known a great many troubles, but most of  them never happened” - Mark Twain

What are some of your biggest worries?  List them in any order.

Now, beside the worry, write down which percent it falls into.

Is it a 40% – most likely will not happen?  A 4% – something you have some control over?

Next, write down how often you worry about this…is it every day, once a month?

Write down what triggers this worry?  A storm? The news? Talking to a particular person.

This may take a little time to decide but usually, something triggers a worry, finding out what it is, is key.

How can you break the habit of this worry?

One way is to play the “What if” game….what is the worst that could happen?  Come on…what is the worst possible scenario?  Could it be horrible? Absolutely!

Is there something practical you could do to alleviate some of the worry? If so, DO IT!

Play the “what if” game with every worry.

Bad things can happen, you can be as prepared as possible and you can do no more!  Some of it really is out of your hands.

If you find certain things are triggering your worry…limit your contact with the news, certain people etc.

It takes years and years of practice to learn the art worry but you can break the cycle much faster!

This week….be conscious of your worries, play the “what if” game and most importantly…don’t let worry control you!!

Next week…self-talk….hmmmmm…..

The art of Worry…. is a post from: The Lisa Effect

What a beautiful weekend we had here in southwest Virginia.  Hope your weekend was beautiful also!

Now, I’m not afraid to say it…well, maybe a little…I love all the seasons and yes, that means the four letter S word…SNOW!  I love to watch the leaves turn and then I love the anticipation of SNOW!

We have been talking about goal setting and I wanted to reemphasis the importance of a positive mindset!

Mindset (imagination, worry and self-talk) can be a deal maker or deal breaker!  

Here is an audio file to help demonstrate the imagination part of mindset.  Please don’t listen to this while driving.  If at all possible, find a quiet place you won’t be interuppted for about three minutes.

Just close your eyes and listen….

The power of imagination

Did you feel nervous, did your heart race?  All of that because of our imagination! Our bodies and minds can not distinguish between what is actually happening to us and what we are watching or imagining happening to us.

If we think it, our bodies react as if it is really happening.  This is why movies and TV shows are so powerful…you watch something with a happy ending….you feel happy.  You watch a show that is scary….you are nervous.

Have you ever imagined an argument….you just know you are going to get to work or go home and have an argument?  Just imagining it makes your blood pressure rise. The same thing happens when you remember an argument and replay it over in your mind…your body reacts as if it is happening at that moment.

Have you ever tried to reach someone, not been able to get them and then you imagine the worst?  Your body freaks out and your imagination runs wild!

Our imagination is very powerful…if we think/imagine we are going to fail at something….our bodies are already acting as if we failed.  If we think/imagine we are going to succeed at something….our bodies are already responding as if we did.

So, this week….when your mind wanders and you start to imagine things…STOP!  Is your imagination in line with your goals and dreams?  If not…change it!  Imagine your goals and dreams coming true, imagine a great day.

Next week, another part of a positive mindset….worry.

Until then….use your imagination to propel you to your dreams!

Imagination….a powerful tool! is a post from: The Lisa Effect

Hello everyone, hope you had a great weekend!

So…you have A goal you would like to work on, you know why it is important to you and you have thought about a reasonable time frame….now let’s talk about attacking the goal.

Most of our goals involve changing some habits….you may want to lose weight, stop smoking, get out of debt, improve a relationship, etc.

Some goals may be more bucket list items…take a trip, see a movie, etc.

We are going to focus more on the habit changing today.

Our brains do not like change….our brain wants to keep us safe and since we survived what we did yesterday…our brain wants us to do the same thing today regardless of how it effected our health, financial situation or our relationships.

That is okay…our brains are trainable.

Let me ask you a question….are you a run, jump in the ocean and get wet all at once kind of person or an ease in a little at a time kind of person?

No wrong answer.

I don’t know about you but when I set a new goal…I want to jump head first into it and make all the changes necessary at once!  Sounds great but in the real world, I’m an ease into it kind of girl.

Also, research shows that if you change one habit at a time for two weeks, you have an 85% chance of success while if you work on two habits at a time, your success rate drops to only 30%.  That’s a huge difference!

So here is my suggestion….if you want to stop smoking…smoke one less cigarette a day for two weeks, then drop it by one again for two more weeks.  In the meantime, replace the time you smoke with something else enjoyable…read something funny, go for a short walk, etc.

If your goal is to lose weight….drink two extra glasses of water for two weeks, then replace a meal with a salad for two weeks, then add exercise for two weeks and so on.

If you are getting out of debt…work on a budget for two weeks, if you normally buy coffee or breakfast out, cut it back by one day for two weeks, etc.

The goals we set are life changing goals…goals we want to maintain.  No one wants to lose weight only to gain it back.

Although it may seem that adding a new habit every two weeks will take FOREVER…it is better than doing nothing!  By replacing a bad habit with a new positive habit and building on those two weeks….we set a strong foundation for reaching our ultimate goal.

By attacking our goals in this manner we retrain our brains and increase our chances of success.  Now, who doesn’t want that?

Remember, the harder it gets, the closer you are!

Two weeks at a time…. is a post from: The Lisa Effect

Hey, hey everyone!

I hope you have become excited about A goal!

I also hope you have a few very specific reasons why this goal is important to you.

If  your goal is “to get out of debt”,  I hope you have practical reasons and also emotional ones.

This week I want you to think about a realistic time frame.  If you want to loose weight, about 2 pounds per week is realistic.  If you want to get out of debt, what is realistic while still planning for Christmas and birthday’s?

If you are planning a vacation, how long will it take you to save, etc?

I know this process is a little long and very detailed but don’t worry…it will all be worth it!  :)

I read this in a church newsletter (Journey’s Crossing in Gaithersburg MD) and I thought it was perfect!

Enjoy…

“Have you ever noticed that the moment you strap on the Christian Super Hero cape and begin trying to serve others with your gifts that the enemy comes in and tries to knock you down and destroy your work? Maybe it comes in the form of someone criticizing you and your efforts.  Or the task you started ends up being harder than you expected and you’re ready to quit.  Or perhaps you feel the discouragement that says, “nothing I try seems to work, I guess I’m not really made for this”. Here’s a “heads up” about heroes: They always have a target on their backs. If you want to do something great for God you will be opposed.

The unfortunate truth is that that the more you become aligned with God’s desire for your life, the more difficult it is to stay on that path.  This means that you will have to learn how to stay strong for the long haul of ministry.  You’ll need to learn how to be confident that what you’re doing is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing, and persevere even in the tough times.  Though there may be times of trial and suffering when you’re aligned with God’s will, He will always bring you through it and help you see how He made the best out of a tough situation.”

The more we work to improve relationships, finances, emotions, and our physical bodies the harder it may become.  The more we stretch to become better tomorrow than we are today, the harder it may become. That is okay, now we know harder just means we are getting closer!

Things getting tough? You are almost there! is a post from: The Lisa Effect

Hopefully by now you have an idea of what your perfect day, week, month and year would look like and you have completed your vision board.

So, the next step is to pick A goal.  

Yes, just one.

Look at your vision board and what would you like to see the biggest change in?

Loose weight

Become debt free

Organize your closet

Look for a better job

Or maybe, take that trip you have been thinking about or create your own central park.

Remember, it is your personal goal, the one that means something to YOU.

Okay, so you sorta have one in mind…great!

The exercise for this week is to write down WHY this is the one.  Write down how it would feel to accomplish this goal.  Write down how it would feel not accomplish this goal. Be specific and look deep! Will it relieve stress, give you something to look forward too?

Write down how this fits in to your perfect day, week, month and year.

I know this seems like a simple step and you may be tempted to skip it…but…trust me…this will come in handy….knowing the motivation for a goal…helps keep you on track!

Next time….a little more on motivation and mindset!

Have a great week!

Start with One! is a post from: The Lisa Effect

So last week we talked about DREAMING!

Ahhhh….don’t you love dreaming about what could be?

There has been an ongoing discussion on 48days.net about vision boards.

It sounded fun, I learned more about them at 4 Points Coaching and bought my poster board.

I knew there were certain things I wanted on the board….a 4 x 4 RV for example, my husband and I would like to go to Alaska via RV.

I also knew there were certain words I wanted on the board…..family, friends, and impact to name a few.

I then started flipping through magazines to see if any pictures or words jumped out at me…and…um…yep….they literally  jumped off the page and hit me over the head!

Simplicity for one….hmmm, hadn’t really thought about it but that word just made me feel calm and peaceful.

I typed a few of my favorite Bible verses, printed them out and added them to the board.

Do you see the sunset in the top right corner?  I dream of that being the view from our home.  Ahhhh

Once I finished the board, I noticed themes….health, faith, giving, relationships…

I thought I had a clear vision of my dreams when I wrote them down but, doing the vision board clarified them even further.

Now, every time I look at the board or even just think about it, my stomach gets butterflies in it and I feel excited.

The vision board helped me solidify my goals, tie everything together and pull out what is really important to me.

I encourage you to do a vision board…it can be done for you individually or with your family.

Remember, keep the board where you can see it!

Please, let me know what you think of the experience.  You can comment below or email me at lisa@thelisaeffect.com.

Have a great weekend and get busy with your boards!  :)

Vision Boards is a post from: The Lisa Effect